And I keep walking..

Tired I feel to walk on the roads alone

Searching for something that is unknown

Is it love, happiness or just some care?

Or am I just wandering in despair?

I see a hand held out for me

I run to hold it, thinking maybe

Maybe my time has come, be ready

But it is just sympathy for a needy

Broken, shattered, I lose it again

Smile on the face hiding the pain

A voice resonates, ‘Don’t cry, wait!’

Life isn't done with you yet

A small dream is where it had started

A dream of life without hatred

The dream is lost in the battle on the way

Only a thought remains, alive I have to stay

Not for me, but for the world around

Not to see, but to show what’s found

Not to say, but to listen to the cries

To experience each day how one dies

Love is in abundance for you and me

Just that you don’t have it for me

Why does it hurt so much? Why can’t I see?

Why can’t I love as much to those who love me?

Tired I feel, but I don’t stop walking

In the hope of another hand held out

With the dream to be happy yet again

To get the love that I once had for you

Smiles,

Swapnil..

फक्त तूच..

विचारांच्या ओघात सरकन एक विचार निसटला 

चिंब भिजुनी या पावसात मी का सुकलेला 

आठवणीत तुझ्या अजून ही प्रत्येक क्षण दाटलेला 

कुशीत तुझ्या आज ही हा देह निजलेला 

नदीच्या काठावर अजून ही तुझीच सावली 

विसरून जगाला का आठवण तुझीच राहिली 

आजही डोळ्यात आहेत स्वप्नं जी आपण पाहिली  

आजही ही अश्रुधारा तुलाच वाहिली

Smiles,
Swapnil..

Magical Times

Some times are so funny

Those make you smile for no reason

Those make you cry for no reason

Those make you feel lost to nowhere

Those make you feel someone’s presence everywhere

It is as if you know what’s wrong

Yet, you let it be the way it is

Even when you know what’s going to make things right

You are averse to take any step forward

Some times are just so funny

Some times are so miraculous

Those make you feel lonely in the crowded places

Those bring the world to you when by yourself

Those let you scream without a sound

Those let the silence speak more than a thousand words

Those are the times when you speak the language of eyes

The one that needs no help of signs or words

Yet you speak about the unspoken in a way

In which even the spoken things can’t be comprehended

Some times are just so miraculous

Some times are so magical

Those let you feel eternity in a moment

Those let years pass like a moment

Those remind you of which you have never forgotten

Those let you forget what you never remembered

Those speak of togetherness when apart

And of loneliness when together

Those let you fly without the wings

And let you swim without the fins

In its own world of mystery

A world in which dreams meet reality

Some times are just yours and mine!

Smiles,

Swapnil..

I can't make you love me.. But..

With you I walk

Holding your hand

Fingers intermingled

The touch divine

Through your hazels

I see the world

Thousand thoughts

Leading to one

For you I wait

With a lonely heart

Finds the crowd

Just by a glimpse

Language of silence

That our eyes speak

In a blink the dreams shatter

Like a house of cards

Arms rolled around

Loose grip, yet firm

Kiss on the forehead

Leaves a mark on the heart

Moments together

Last for no time

Memories they bring

Gets a lifetime

You might never be mine

But I am already yours

I can’t make you love me

But I can’t make me stop

[ Inspired by "I can't make you love me" by Bonnie Raitt ]

Smiles,

Swapnil..

It's gonna be love

I opened my arms wide

Only for the wind to hug me

But one day you will come

To blow away the wind

I rested my head softly

Only to hear the rustling leaves

But one day you will come

To replace it with your heartbeats

I lay down on the sand

Only for the sun to cover me

But one day you will come

With your shadow to fight the sun

I stretched out my hand

Only for the rain to fall on it

But one day you will come

To wipe out the raindrops

I closed my eyes

Only for the unlimited dreams

But you will be the reality

For each dream to come true

Smiles,

Swapnil..

Courage

We are taking a walk around the garden; observing the lush greenery, the colorful flowers, the naughty kids playing on the seesaw, and the slides. Elderly people gathered together and playing pranks on one another. The younger men and women busy in running/jogging on their own or with the common love of the new generation – smartphones. Just then we hear an innocent cry from behind. We turn back. We see a small boy, maybe 4-5 years old, standing alone at some distance. We rush towards him. He seems to be very confused, worried, a bit scared. We reach to him, kneel down in front of him and ask, ‘What happened? What is your name? Why are you crying?’ He doesn’t say a word and continues crying. We try to look for some chocolates in our bag. After struggling enough with no success, we face back to the boy and stand up. We give out our hand and ask him to come along with us. He seems skeptical, but the smile on our face makes him comfortable. He gives out his hand too. We take him with us to the nearest bench. After sitting down with him, we give one more attempt to find something in our bag. And this time we get lucky. We hand over the toffee to the kid. He smiles. His innocent face mixed with tears and dust particles have another dimension to it. The innocent smile reaching to his ears. It brings a smile on our face too. We ask him once more, ‘What is your name buddy?’. He says, ‘I’m Sohail. Sohail Mehmood.’ ‘Nice name, Sohail. It is very nice to meet you. Tell me now, why were you crying?’ He replies, ‘Abbu had got a ball for me yesterday and I lost it today. He is going to be angry on me now.’ ‘Where do you live Sohail?’ ‘Just in the chawl behind the garden’, says Sohail. His expression changes again. A teardrop is about to fall from his left eye. We tell him, ‘Don’t worry Sohail. Let’s get a new ball for you. Abbu won’t be angry at you then.’ He gets excited for a moment, but then he realizes that it won’t be right. He says, ‘Thank you so much. But I don’t want a new ball. I will say sorry to Abbu.’ We wonder, how can such a tiny soul be so polite, so honest, courageous. We feel proud about him. Just then few other kids around the same age come running towards the bench. They drag Sohail to play along with them. While leaving, Sohail turns back and gives the same innocent smile. This time wider than the previous one. We remain seated on the bench. Alone, but with so many thoughts. Probably, we have found the answer that we were looking for. We realize that we don’t have to look for excuses for the mistake that we have done. We just have to admit it. We wonder how we got helped when we were actually trying to help someone.We wonder how much have we changed from the time when we were of Sohail’s age. We weren’t much different than him when we were young, then why have we complicated our lives? We decide, maybe it is late but it is not the end. We still can be same old souls, which we were a few years ago. Honest, innocent and pure. It brings a new courage within us, and a new smile. We take out the ‘smartphone’ from our pocket and look for the right number. We just know what we have to do now!

Smiles,

Swapnil..

Unpredictability

There are those mornings when we just don’t want to get out of the bed. We just want to keep lying there for as long as we can. Not because we are lazy, but because we know what is in store for the day. We anticipate the usual boring working day or even a weekend sometimes. And we feel, why not just avoid the routine and do something that might not actually irate us by the end of the day. Same old breakfast, same route, same work, lunch around same faces, coffee gossips with the usual ones, same gym, same door to open at the end of the day with the same key. Why can’t we just avoid all that for one day? And when that thought is being processed in our heads, we pinch ourselves and wake up. We know however much we think, we will end up doing it anyway. The usual routine. And that’s where the fun starts. We start the day just like yesterday. While things are going fine (rather not so fine – monotonous), suddenly we get a text or a call. From someone whom we haven’t met for ages or spoken for months. A voice from the other end questions, ‘Dinner tonight?’. And we are stumbled. Yes or No. There isn’t much time to think and we go with a Yes. What’s the harm after all in having a dinner with an old ‘special’ friend. And from that moment onwards until we enter the restaurant for dinner the only thought that goes in our mind is about the dinner and the friend with whom we are going to have it. We meet. After the typical greetings and whereabouts, there is a long silence. Only to be broken by, ‘So tell me, what’s new? Are you seeing someone?’. You fumble with a faint No. But that question brings down all the bitter and the sweet memories down the lane. Memories that were born when we were seeing someone. Seeing the person across the table. Or were hoping that it would ever happen. The entire discussion on the dinner table after that is without we being a part of it. We speak, but we don’t know what. We listen, but we don’t know to whom. We remember nothing. Probably just the good-bye while getting in the cab. Faintly. We open the door. This time it is not the same feeling that we have everyday. The same door with the same key feeling. We are still occupied. We wash our face. Change the clothes. Memories still keep flushing. For a moment we feel like putting a lock on our mind. Helplessly, we lie on the bed. Just before the eyes close, a thought occurs in our mind. Why didn’t I just lie on my bed in the morning? Why didn’t I just stay back home? We don’t know whether we should be happy that the routine had changed today or sad because probably we didn’t want it to change this way. And just then our eyes close with a hope, that when they open the next day it will all be a fresh start.

Smiles,

Swapnil..

On the eve of the new year 2013!

It started with the new year celebrations at San Jose. Followed by the best news of the year - Veer was a part of our world. Friends kept pouring after that. Celebrations. Parties. Birthdays. Fun. In the month of Valentine's, the unexpected happened. I fell in love. Life was never the same again. Beautiful memories. Wonderful meetings. Friends got closer. Evening tea. Afternoon sodas. Sleepless nights. I got my extended family. My Mafias. 

Just like everything even this didn't last forever. Bad omen, the world would say. I just say, some mistakes, some misunderstandings. More sleepless nights. This time accompanied by tears. A big change in life. Moved back to my parents. Real friends held onto me. Made me stand; again. New job. New place. Memories - the same old ones. Struggled hard. Stood. Fell. Stood. Fell. Stood again. Surprises. Some more parties. 

One of the most exciting event. My Aus-NZ trip. Bungy. Skydive. Snorkeling. Spending the night in the car. Scars. Tan. Wounds. The ones that heal. Wounds turned into memories. The ones that don't heal. Regrets were gone. New spirit. New challenges. New world. 

On the eve of the new year, a promise to myself to be happy. To smile. To make others smile. Always. 2012 was eventful. Undoubtedly. Introduced the new me. Love. Pain. Sorrows. Happiness. Friends. Family. Love forever. Thank you 2012 for making me strong, bringing the best out of me. I owe you, big time. 

With this I would like to welcome 2013 with the usual broad smile. Away from family. Still with the family. Wish you all a very happy and a prosperous new year. May you discover or rediscover yourself. 2012 was spent with Pani Da with sad tears; and will end with Pani Da but with happy tears. 

Cheers. Keep smiling.

Smiles,
Swapnil..